Dating can be exciting, confusing and even traumatizing. Let's face it, there are a lot of people who have ulterior motives and they don't care if they hurt you. When you meet someone new, it's so fun to hope and dream that you have found your prince or princess, but the hardest challenge is to stay grounded in truth and seek real knowledge of the person instead of the fantasy that you hope becomes reality.
As a hopeless romantic and believer in fairy tales come true who tends towards an anxious attachment style, this is a real challenge for me. I want to believe in the good in people. I want to take everyone at face value and believe that if they say it and do it, they mean it. Unfortunately, fairy tales are also filled with wolves dressed as grannies and old hags holding poisoned apples. Dating can sometimes feel more like Squid Game than Cinderella.
I'm a believer in prayer and I always pray over a new love interest. When I meet someone new, I don't pray that things work out or that things go well. I pray the most powerful thing I can think of when it comes to relationships and that is... revealed truth.
I pray that God will reveal the truth about his character. I pray that God will show me who he truly is and do it fast. I pray that if he is not a good person to have in my life, God please remove him from my life as quickly as possible. That may be because he's a no good dirty rotten scoundrel, or maybe it's just that we aren't a good fit. Either way, I don't want the wrong one in my life.
I don't want to waste one second with someone who doesn't add value to my life. I really don't want to waste one second with someone who will hurt me. Even if they are just not a good fit, swimming upstream in life is exhausting and takes you away from your whole purpose. It's disappointing when someone quickly reveals their douche baggery, gold diggery, narcissism and villainous side, but it's better sooner than later.
This advice is for both men and women. No man bashing here. My male friends have experienced just as many toxic relationship and dating trauma as my female friends.
I love being in a relationship. Honestly, it's the thing I want most in my life that I don't have at this point. I do NOT love being in a toxic one and I'm perfectly happy being single until the right one comes along!
There is a specific prayer that I say over any romantic interest that I adapted from a saying from Paul Selig that someone shared with me. I do not share Paul Selig's approach to spirituality, but everyone has wisdom and shared sound principles can cross many divides.
My Dating Prayer:
In the name of Jesus, I know who you are in truth (insert name of love interest.)
I know what you are in God's truth.
I know how you serve in God's truth.
Lord reveal to me all truth in regards to Love Interest.
Love Interest you are free. You are free. I am free.
In Jesus' name. Amen
If God reveals unpleasant truth, REJOICE and be thankful! Maybe you cry or feel sad, but rejoice through your tears and then move on. You don't want anything that isn't God's plan for you. Sometimes no is the best answer God can give you.
Happy New Year!